


Hey Chief

by Rebecca



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Community: cabinpres_fic, Episode Related, Humor, M/M, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-29
Updated: 2011-05-29
Packaged: 2017-10-19 21:38:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/205475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rebecca/pseuds/Rebecca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Douglas has found himself a new game to play.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hey Chief

**Author's Note:**

> This probably doesn't make much sense if you don't know _Ipswich_.
> 
> Thanks go to Enigel for her comments! ♥♥♥

_Hey Chief, I might be wrong..._ He couldn't even _think_ that with a straight face, let alone say it to Martin. But Douglas Richardson wasn't one to turn down a challenge, even if it was self-imposed.

 _Hey Chief, I might be wrong, but I think there's a loud, screeching noise emanating from the intercom._ Which was rather needless to point out, since all people on board (all three of them, Douglas included) were already covering their ears with their hands.

 _Hey Chief, I might be wrong, but I think there's a thunderstorm over Frankfurt. This makes me feel..._ To be honest, the thunderstorm didn't make him feel anything at all, and long before he could even start being concerned, Martin would have requested to be put on hold or be diverted anyway.

 _Hey Chief, I might be wrong, but I think the door to the flight deck is wedged. This makes me feel annoyed, given that we've been forced to listen to Arthur's singing since take-off. One thing we could do is..._ Really, what _could_ they do? The bloody thing hadn't been working properly for weeks, and so far no engineer had been able to fix it.

 _Hey Chief, I might be wrong, but I think the second altimeter is working again. This makes me feel confused. One thing we could do is smash it with the fire axe. How does that sound...?_ Well, no, that _didn't_ sound good even to Douglas. Despite all, he liked his job, and Carolyn really didn't need any more reasons to fire him, at least not such obvious ones.

 _Hey Chief, I might be wrong, but I think we are losing height. This makes me feel thrilled. One thing we could do is raise the speed and pull Gertie up. How does that sound to you?_ That was actually rather a good one, but by the time Martin had hastily returned from the loo, everything was back to normal.

 _Hey Chief, I might be wrong, but I think this flight is rather long and uneventful. This makes me feel bored. One thing we could do is play 'I spy with my little eye.'_ Or maybe not; they had just played that half an hour ago, right after Twenty Questions, Charades, and 'Porn versions of film titles.'

 _Hey Chief, I might be wrong, but I think I need to get laid. This makes me feel..._ Scratch that. It wasn't that much fun to be on the receiving end of one's own jokes.

 _Hey Chief, I might be wrong, but I think _you_ need to get laid. This makes me feel irritated, given that I have to endure your mood swings. And also sympathetic. One thing we could do is..._ But not even Douglas could think of anything to redeem the situation. Martin was just a hopeless case.

 _Hey Chief, I might be wrong, but I think you are gay. This makes me feel not surprised at all. One thing we could do is..._ Ah, no. There was nothing that needed fixing here.

 _Hey Chief, I might be wrong, but I think you just checked out my arse._ Wait, what? Well, if that wasn't interesting.

* * *

Douglas smiled. Finally, he had found a five step statement he could say to Martin without bursting into laughter, and which he actually meant. He cleared his throat meaningfully.

"Hey Chief, I might be wrong but I think you want to shag my brains out. This makes me feel really horny. One thing we could do is sneak into one another's rooms when we land. How does that sound to you?"

**Author's Note:**

> Last five step statement taken from [this awesome prompt](http://cabinpres-fic.livejournal.com/728.html?thread=276184#t276184).


End file.
